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UNHOLY SHIT! Here’s the FULL TEXT of Chapter 5 of El Paso dad’s book, “Crystal Bowls and James of God”!

Here are all 4 pages of Chapter 5 of Life Enthusiasm: A Path to Purpose Beyond Recovery:

This guy’s “ultimate goal” was “to develop a unique and flexible combination of treatment approaches… uninhibited by cultural and ethnic barriers.”

Someone named “Lena” referred him to “a pair of healers that were sanctioned by James of God [AKA Jon of God AKA Medium Joao AKA João Teixeira de Faria] to tour the United States and treat clients with their blend of sound healing, crystal beds, and what they refer to as the entities.”

He saw a “documentary” on James of God as “a sincere depiction of a gifted healer.”

“It impressed me as relating truth beyond the otherworldly subject matter.”

“The first half was 30 minutes of crystal bowl healing set to guided meditation. During the second half, you lay on one of two crystal healing beds to rest and listen to relaxing music while allowing the entities to work.


“…Reverend Matthew asked us to close our eyes and relax as he went into a mesmerizing guided meditation… As he began playing the solar plexus bowl, my head mechanically turned to the right, in the same manner as I experienced in Lena’s energy treatments. However, this time my head kept lifting higher and then a few inches backward. My neck felt strained as it bent as far as possible back to compensate for my head, which seemed to want to detach from my body. The sensations were strange. On the one hand, a feeling of lightness and smooth energy flowed through my lower body from my bare feet to the base of my shoulders and back down again in one cycle. This was strongly contrasted by my strained neck and magnetized head which felt possessed.”

Uh what now?

“We were then led by Reverend Matthew to the beds. He would go to the door and ask in silence which room would best suit each client. Once satisfied with an answer, he directed my cohort into the first room and turned me over to Janet, his partner, who led me into the second room. I took in the environment of the room as I lay down. Pictures of ascended masters, of which I could only recognize a few, were hung side by side on one wall. Another wall was adorned with a pyramidal frame, which Janet explained to me was a type of portal to the entities. Then she reminded me to set my intention one final time for the healings [sic], and put on headphones and covered my eyes with a thick cotton cloth.”

Uh, to do what now?

“The crystal bed was much more subtle. The mystical sound of crystal bowls filtered through the headphones. I lay down with the expectation to receive, but minutes ticked by and beyond the latent buzzing of my body from the sound treatment, little happened. I began to think too much; doubt and judgement set in.”

Uh, receive what?

“Then, there was movement in my head, like gentle impulses or pinpricks for several minutes. I sensed that there was healing being done, like a reconnecting or rearrangement of neurons. I mostly felt that the entities were working in my head, possibly rewiring my brain which would be highly congruent with what I asked of them.”

Well, you were asking for it…

“Suddenly, I felt a presence that eclipsed all other sensation that I can only describe as seraphic, all white light, peaceful and comforting. As I bathed in its magnificence, I felt a warmth as it drew nearer. It was an angel! Then to my surprise and delight, I felt arms around me as I received a hug. I glowed and tingled in response.”


“I could not have asked for anything more. I had asked for healing in my knee, prosperity in my career, and other worldly things. I had instead received an unexpected touch and floated blissfully in a state of rapture.”

Yeah, his career prolly hasn’t prospered since the State of Texas shut down his employer, Timberlawn Psychiatric Hospital, last year after multiple horrors including one night [“the hospital had put 16 children under the watch of just one mental-health aide” and a “13-year-old girl said she was raped by a 17-year-old boy” the unnamed aide had encouraged the rape by putting “the teens in rooms just feet away from each other, even though the boy was at risk for sexual aggression”. The same night, whichever probable Jimmy Saville who had the place to themselves all night “also failed to check on 12 children who were at risk of suicide”.

I bet his knee’s not doing much better than his career.

But back to the happy ending:

“Janet tiptoed in a minute or so after and removed the headphones and eye covering. ‘How are you feeling?'”

“‘Fantastic’, I replied. I drank the glass of water she offered and a few more while I relaxed and gained enough composure to drive home.”

“Reverend Matthew walked by and asked, “How was it?”

“Great, I smiled. An hour in the angelic realms.”

Someone explain to me WTF happened.