Editor’s note: And now we bring you a Christmas special from our resident gender fluid progressive, A. Moffit, who claims that Christmas is so bigoted that all Christmas gifts should be approved by the government in order to avoid “gender stereotyping” children. We don’t agree with what Moffit says, but we present this information so that you can stay informed on what progressives are demanding. Read and weep…
Here comes Santa Clause, here comes Santa Clause, right down your house tube … yes, here comes the woman hater, dressed in white to symbolize purity and red to symbolize menstruation. Here comes the creepy old criminal “white dude” who breaks into your home, steals cookies, and who has child slave workers dressed like “elves.” He’s got to use the chimney because nobody is letting that molester freak in their front door – the same pervert who loves when kids sit on his lap and tell him “what they want.”
Why does Santa have to be a man? We already have the tooth fairy, so it’s not like anybody has the right to object to a Tranny Santa coming out of the Clause-et. It’s time for a female or gay Santa to represent the New World Liberal Order. How about a drag queen Santa for equality, instead of a creepy white guy dressed in red, the color of the blood of abused women?
Get ready, America, to mail all holiday gifts to a newly proposed U.S. government “flagging” department (The USFD), where high-paid flaggers must approve uni-gender gifts in order to eliminate gender stereotyping of little children.
Perverted, woman-hating, child-abusing Santa hides at the North Pole since no nation has jurisdiction to arrest there
The FBI should put out an all-points-bulletin (APB) on Santa this year. Once they catch him, he’ll be banned and replaced with a Tranny Santa who wears rainbow colors to match the holiday lights. Tranny Santa or “Tranta” is all against the eco-terrorism of chopping down trees and displaying the corpses of those dead trees in your living room. If he finds one, he’ll write you a citation, instead of leaving gifts.
No more celebrating the death of nature and horrific “crucifictions” in December. Oh, and no more dead meat gifts, like sausages or cured ham, that obviously celebrate more death. Sausages just look like penises anyway. Why should all the innocent swine suffer so you can be a materialistic pig yourself? Just eat some vagina-shaped cookies and tarts shaped like snowflakes, while thinking of peaceful things.
Let all the misogynistic men roast their “chest nuts” in prison, instead of next to an open fire. Anyone who gives their little girls Barbie dolls should face criminal penalties. Give your little boys “Ken dolls” and you’re going to jail too.
Start dreaming of a rainbow Christmas, where Santa is prancing on your roof in high heels, and racist, misogynistic Barbie dolls don’t brainwash little girls
I pledge allegiance, to the rainbow, of the pansgender states of America, and to the Socialist Republic, for which it stands, a one-gendered nation, under prancing Tranta, with liberalism and social justice for all. Look! Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s Tranta in high heels, parachuting down to deliver uni-gender gifts to the world.
Amazon is already expected to comply with the new pre-gift inspections. There’s only one major problem: Multi-billion-dollar corporation Mattel is going to have a lot of reconfiguring to do at their toy factories. Nearly every “Hello Barbie” Barbie doll would be flagged by the USFD for being racist, misogynistic, or just plain perverted.
Let’s start with the interactive doll that listens and responds to children, while recording their voices, sending them back to corporate, and using them later for illegal advertisements, and for talking toys that feature your own child’s voice, without your permission.
Next, we have Princess Unicorn Barbie, who seems to have a unicorn penis protruding from her forehead. Is this really necessary? What’s really going on with this freak show?
Onward to 1992’s “Teen Talk Barbie” who says, “Math class is tough.” Okay, so women are all stupid now and can’t do math – just leave all that to the white men in charge of the Fed, huh? Then she says, “Will we ever have enough clothes?” What the hell is that? That’s telling all little girls that the only thing that matters in this world is buying more outfits and shoes.
Lastly, we have “Oreo Barbie.” You can’t make this stuff up. Teaming up with the black-n-white famous cookie, this one is completely offensive and racist. Black on the outside, but white on the inside, right?